LOOKING FOR MY TIME!
DID YOU SEE MY TIME?
CALLING ALL WOMEN 45 AND OVER!
UNDERSTANDING THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS!
FOLLOW THE RHYTHM!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I am looking for my time. Have you seen my time? This is the first time my time has left and has not returned, in the past it will leave for 9 months sometimes and then come back.
The difference between it's previous departure and this time is that when it departed in the past we celebrated. This time there is no celebration, it has left me with tears, regrets and loneliness.
To everything, there is a time and a season . (Ecclesiastes 3:1)There is so much certainty and truth in this verse that if we can accept it, we will travel through this journey with great understanding and not fret when things begin to change on us. Life has a rhythm to it.
WHAT IS THIS RHYTHM?
From the time a baby makes is triumphant entry into this beautiful journey, the rhythm starts. Once the baby takes in that air and cries with all its energy, life begins. The next step for anyone present at birth will take is to determine the gender. The gender clearly sets the roles the child will play through out life.
If it is a girl, the challenging journey of preparing for womanhood and motherhood starts, every thing from that point is intentionally geared at preparing her for that role. The preparation takes a big leap at about twelve, when the spiritual journey of initiation commences, The "time" like it is called in several cultures makes a surprising but grand entrance accompanied by Mother Nature bearing gifts of a dream and a future for all mankind. From the day of the first visit, monthly visits will be scheduled at around the same time every month. Month by month they reappear to remind the innocent girl of her role. In this period of preparation Mother Nature begins the task of adequately equipping her for the intended role. Anticipating that every woman will undertake the journey.
Soon, the breasts come in, initially shyly breaking through the skin of the nipples, it causes her a little discomfort because in her conflicted mind she has no understanding of the miracle she carries yet. Her skin glows as thick shinny hairs begin to sprout from significant parts of her body.Now the previously emerging breasts start filling up like balloons filled with water. The perky pair stand erect like the headlights of a car.The hips widen, rounding beautifully at the corners. She certainly is a piece of art. Well sculpted and rounded. She is full of promises! Even though she looks at other women in her life like her mother and she thinks she will never look like them. In her mind, she thinks her case is different.
At this time, the young lady begins to have an appreciation of the gifts Mother Nature gave her and the power she carries.
She starts to explore as she swings her rounded hips from side to side.
When she catches a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror , she likes what she sees. Soon she is not the only one that sees her beauty. Naturally she will begin to have thoughts and feelings that puzzle her. Nature's other intention is to make her appealing to her partner, he too has been going through his changes, he has been kitted with his distinct gifts to perform. His voice changed on him, to this low baritone that sends shivers down her spine, shoulders became square, thick glossy hair appear every where. He is beginning to have urges he cannot describe.
Back to the girl, daily she wakes up, in full recognition of her powers and as she encounters him begins her display similar to that of a colorful bird. She knows she has him spellbound . Hormones are raging, there is a complete balance between estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Every thing has come together. Her libido is at it's peak. Her preparation is complete!
Then comes marriage and the non avoidable intimacy issues, everything that nature had prepared her for was coming in handy. In very little time, "time" her monthly visitor takes a sabbatical as she begins to feel and sense the signs of new life. This is it! This is what she was destined to do. The miracle has arrived. Life goes full cycle as she brings forth another and another as the case may be.
The next phase of her life will be to nurture and care for the miracle. Nature already thought about it, she already fitted her with her very own milk factory, a tender heart and the temperament of a lion to protect her children. Day by day she performs these task and with her care they grow and thrive.
One day, she realizes that they no longer need her for their care, as she celebrates her success there is a deep whole in her heart, yet she must understand that a season and time have ended.
As she gets to her 45th Birthday, she catches a glimpse of herself in her mirror again and this time she did not recognize the image in the mirror was her image.
Her once smooth skin now has deep lines all over it.
Her once bright eyes were now dull and as she looked deep into them, she saw all the pain and disappointment of all the years gone past.
Her once dark shinny thick hair was now a mixture of black and white, it was also thin and dull. She feels like Cinderella and twelve just struck on the clock and she has to return everything that made her beautiful. It seems mother nature's intention at this stage is to make her unattractive to him and him unattractive to her. He too is losing some of his endowments. His once thick hair disappears as his stomach bulges noticeably. The instrument that once represented his prowess almost non functional. Their job in this arena is over. No one can cheat nature.
None of these things hurt her as much as the feeling of worthlessness and emptiness she feels deep down. Sometimes the feelings are accompanied by impatience, anxiety and very fragile emotions.
When she goes to consult with her doctor, a fellow woman she says a lot of strange things instead of the usual words like fertility, ovulation and labor she was saying things like cortisol, stress,biodental hormone and insulin. Then in every sentence she will add balance. Each time she asked how she could get balance, the answers she gave her made no sense, she could tell the doctor herself was confused.
The once balanced estrogen, progesterone and testosterone are now running havoc. As she stares with tears in her eyes she asked the question.
Where did time go?
"Time" has done its natural job and departed with Mother Nature, there were no more familiar monthly visits.
Time had gone but left some very frustrating unwanted guests behind. They were low libido, excessive night sweats, some very complicated one called hot flashes, loss of hair, loss of sleep, droopy breasts, bad eyes,chills, anger, a bulge in her mid section, loss of her muscles, sometimes she cannot put her thoughts together as she experienced fogginess in her mind, the worst of the unwanted guest was dreaded dryness in her most treasured part. This part of her body once held so much pleasure.
Why are you doing this to me? She asked God.
She already knew the answer.
The time to reproduce like kind was over. It was time to pack up the shop and gracefully accept her next assignment.
For this next stage, she was endowed with a heart bigger than the one she had before but she must also acquire some new friends to accompany her on this new lonely journey, slowly as she drags her tired body up, wisdom, understanding and patience stand firmly by her while she reaches deep into her soul and makes sense of this cycle of life.
Soon the trio whisper to her in unison
"You cannot cheat Nature".
You have sacrificed all your life, it is time to accept the things that you cannot change.
Your beauty and charm you will show with your heart.
No matter how much you nip and tuck
Nature will get even with you and it will crumble.
You can spend your resources on diet pills and the scale will move the opposite direction.
You can spend the whole day at the gym and what has come down can never come up.
Spend your fortune on hair and skin products and youth will never return
You can buy all the support wear in Victoria secret and Spanx and all they will do is to move the fat to another part of your body.
Stop trying to recreate the past.
That time is gone!
Celebrate what you have done and take time to minister to your soul.
Your new job title will be Prayer warrior and counselor.
If you understand these then you can approach the last phase with the peace that is beyond human understanding.
This is dedicated to all women attempting to make sense of it all in mid life.
"Time" has gone yet inner strength has arrived
I celebrate you my sister.
Welcome to 45 and over
You are not alone.
I have a question please ladies. Why does our vision decline in mid life?
Could it be that nature believes we have seen enough?
I think I have just figured it out but I will like to hear your answers.
Chi chi Iro.