I always say "My Life is my teacher." Most things I know about love and relationship, is from my life experiences. Not all experiences are pleasant but have grown to find a lesson in each one.I have a scar on my left wrist with a bucketload of life lessons. I sustained that injury over 40 years ago and each time I see this injury, I realize that we all need to be appreciated and positively affirmed.
I will share how I got the injury first and what it thought me.
I am the last child of my mother and my oldest Sister who is much older than I am, had left home at a very young age to go study in London, I do not recollect knowing her before she left but as I grew older, I became aware that she was responsible for the packages that were frequently dispatched from London. I remember how happy I was, when she sent me my first pair of red leather mules, with an inch heel. At first Mama said I could not wear them for fear of my tripping, but my irrepressible little self kept practising and mastered how to wear them, and this was for me my first high heels. For a girl that could not wear decent shoes, those red mules made me feel like every other little girl, oh how I loved those mules.
So one day this beautiful and elegant lady returned home and took up a job in the ministry, I was just blown away with her presence, I wanted her to notice my existence and know how tough I was, I wanted her to be very proud of me, on this day the chance to make her proud that came as I overheard my big Sister ask one of the male helps in the home to wash her car. I quickly recognized the chance to be relevant came. I snuck out, got my self some soap, a bucket and water from a truck that had a storage tank attached to it or tanker as we called it and I proceeded to wash the car. All I could think of was how proud of me Sister will be, soon I was out of water. It was time to rinse the car, so I went for a refill of water. My clothes were soaking wet, there were soap suds all over but nothing could stop me, I got to the tanker refilled my bucket and ready to retrace my steps to the car and the unthinkable or was it thinkable happened. I lost my balance, I held unto the tanker for support and the rough edges cut right into my wrist. Oh no! I thought but anyway , I had to continue my task, big Sis must be proud of me. I headed to the soapy wet car and continued.
Big Sis was ready to go out, stepped out to get into her car and what she saw blew her mind. Chinwe dripping wet, covered in soap and blood. She let out a huge scream! I put my index finger to my lips, pleading with her to be quiet because if she screamed any more and Mama came out, it will be big trouble. So she took me, dripping water and blood, she bundled me in the car I was supposed to be washing headed to the General Hospital without alerting Mama. We got to the hospital and the cut was stitched. While the doctor was stitching all that was going through my mind was, Chinwe you just blew it, big Sis will never be proud of you.
1)We are all yearning for recognition and acceptance, it is only modest not to seek it out yourself, we pray that the people on our lives will just offer it .
2. A word of appreciation goes a long way. One does not have to be perfect to get affirmed. There times to offer affirmation just for the effort made. Even if the picture on Facebook is not the best picture of your friend, hit the like button all the same to acknowledge their effort.
3. Always appreciate the effort it took someone to positively affirm you, it is a precious and priceless gift.
4. Because you affirmed some one else, it does not make them better than you are.
5. If one has to ask you to affirm them before you do, it defeats the purpose.
I am learning everyday from life. God give me the grace to put in practice my lessons.
Years later I reminded my Sister of the incident of course she had forgotten about it, she looked at me with so much love and said but I was always proud of you. She asked me why I did not let her know what I needed from her then?
I know why I did not tell her what I needed, I wanted it to come freely from her.